What Does Apart Really Mean?
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Summary: How can House and Cuddy stay away from each other when the intensity with which they need each other is all consuming? Mature content. Please read the disclaimer!
1. Chapter 1

_Hello, fellow fans who are done with House, M.D. If you're not, I respect your opinion and admire your optimism! Since I cannot watch a show where House has turned into someone capable of domestic violence (it was domestic violence, no room for argument there, no matter which way you angle it and no rationalizations can redeem House as a character for me now IMHO, and remember THE COP IN THE TEASER WHO SAID IT WAS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE), I thought I would get some fanfic stories out there, since, you know, the House I saw in the finale, well, there are no words._

_So, here's a fic about the intense physical passion we never saw on screen. The tenderness of 'Now What' was achingly beautiful, but I was always a bit huh? about them always talking about their physical passion for each other while the show was careful to avoid showing much more than short kisses and a tender gesture here and there. Hey, don't get me wrong, I thought those moments were understated and beautiful, too, but, since House has apparently gone insane and gone off to a tropical island to smile about unforgivably traumatizing someone, I can write about House in fanficland doing things that in reality he may physically be unable to do, right? Many apologies for the rant, but, I know there must be some people who agree with me! So, here it is, something that may have happened between House and Cuddy. _

_BTW, I am not a "Huddy" shipper in the strict sense. I watched the show since day 1 and I was just frustrated at the lack of depth in exploring their relationship in S7. I wouldn't have minded if they broke up, as long as it was in line with their obviously deep feelings for each other and long, long, history with each other. That did not happen, IMHO. _

_This story is a snapshot of House and Cuddy after they have broken up (not over one pill) but who still can't stay away from each other because, well, they have too much history, love, angst, issues to have a clean breakup in one go._

_Hope you enjoy._

**[House's bed]**

"Do you want me to stop?" House asked as he kissed the hollow in Cuddy's neck and cupped her breasts in his hands. Cuddy sighed as her breath turned shallow. House skated his left hand down her stomach and felt her wetness while continuing to kiss the hollow in her neck. He ran his right thumb across her nipple. Cuddy started breathing more heavily and found herself arching her neck back, feeling her core throb. She had just climaxed from House's _other_ ministrations a short while ago, so she was still feeling sensitive.

"House..." Cuddy said in between heavy breaths.

"Tell me you want me to stop," House said, continuing to caress her with his hands while bringing his mouth to the juncture between her ear and her neck.

Cuddy took in a deep breath, pausing for a moment.

"No," she breathed.

House nibbled on her ear.

Then, House slowly turned Cuddy in his arms until she was on her hands and knees. He placed his hands on her hips, gripping them, and thrust forward while pulling her hips back into his pelvis. They both cried out softly, he, from finally being inside her and she, from being penetrated while she was still sensitive from her last orgasm. House felt himself throb inside Cuddy for a moment and then started to thrust into her deeply, pulling her hips back into him with every thrust. He gradually brought his right arm away from her hip and started to stroke her clit. Cuddy was in ecstasy, but, having been sensitive from her orgasm a short while ago, she began to feel herself tighten again way too soon.

"House,..." Cuddy warned while she closed her eyes and lifted her head higher. House felt Cuddy tense and heard the warning tone in her voice, which had been uttered between a series of soft moans. He took his hand away from her sensitive clit. Instead, he placed his right hand higher on her body so that he cupped her breasts, and he snaked his left arm around Cuddy's narrow waist, securing her body as close to him as possible. He thrust into her in this position, keeping his left arm braced around her, while his right hand cupped and fondled her breasts. Cuddy felt herself throb along with House's rhythm, feeling him deep inside her. "Stay with me, Cuddy," House whispered, as he thrust into her again and again. Cuddy let out a soft cry as she arched her neck back and rocked along to House's rhythm while trying to stave off her orgasm. He felt so good inside her, and she could feel her inner muscles squeezing him every time he thrust.

House gradually started breathing as heavily as she was, and the knowledge that he was finally close made her tighten until she was sure she couldn't hold off her orgasm any longer. House felt her start to clench around him, and he brought his right hand around along with his left so that he was gripping her hips once again. He kept up the rhythm he had set before but started to pound into Cuddy so hard that the sound of their skin slapping against each other mixed in with their growing moans. It wasn't long before Cuddy felt herself clenching around House so hard that she screamed, her arms involuntarily buckling a little. This caused her hips to rise higher in an arch, and House pounded into her with growing intensity until he couldn't take the feel of her tight grip around him any longer. After a few more strokes, he cried out loudly, holding her hips against his as he came over and over again inside her.

House and Cuddy stayed frozen in that position for a while, gulping in air while trying to catch their breaths. House eventually adjusted both their bodies so that he lay sprawled lightly on top of her, his face resting in the groove between her shoulder blades. He ran his stubble over the smooth skin there, all the while placing feathery light kisses and tasting her skin with the lightest licks of his tongue. "Stay," he said.


	2. Chapter 2

**[A park in New Jersey, away from Princeton]**

Sunlight bounced off of Cuddy's bare shoulder as she lounged in her sundress. House was lying down on the blanket on the grass, his button-up shirt discarded. His worn blue t-shirt and jeans contrasted with the red and white checkered pattern of the blanket beneath him. His stomach rose and fell with his breath as he quietly dozed. Cuddy watched him for a while and then placed her left hand gently on his stomach.

House squinted one eye open and looked at her. Cuddy rubbed her hand over his stomach.

"House," she said.

"Mmm?" House grunted, still half asleep.

Cuddy continued to rub his stomach slowly and then stopped, resting her hand firmly against him.

"We can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?" House said, opening both eyes.

Cuddy looked down into his eyes, which looked sky blue in the sunlight.

"_This. _Sneaking off for a weekend here and there, pretending that this is okay. We can't keep…We can't keep fucking all our worries away."

House looked at her for a moment, and then sat up, bringing Cuddy's hand to the center of his chest. He looked at her intensely for a second, then, as if changing his mind, he placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I thought all our fucking was mutually beneficial. It helps you relax, and it reminds me of why I put up with your annoying existence as hospital administrator."

"It does _not_ help me relax. Well, okay, maybe it does. But only when we're together. When we're apart and back at work, away from your apartment, away from one of our getaways, I feel…I feel anxious. I feel like I'm being a bad mother to Rachel."

"Are you neglecting her?"

"No, but not telling her that I'm seeing you again makes me feel like I'm being dishonest with her, like I'm lying to her."

"She's three years old. I don't think she's gonna know or care that you're lying to her." 

Cuddy sighed. "Maybe, but I'm setting a bad example just the same."

"Cuddy," House said, putting his hand over her hand, which still rested on his chest. He kissed her softly on the lips. "You know how I feel," he said against her lips.

Cuddy sighed and laughed lightly, but a little bitterly as well. "Hard, most of the time?" she said sarcastically.

House smiled with his lips and bit her lower lip gently, as if teasingly punishing her for her remark. He pulled away.

"Can we have this conversation after this weekend is over?" House asked, half playful and half serious.

Cuddy looked at him, running her eyes over his face. She reached down and laced her fingers with his. She kissed him softly, closing her eyes.

"Yes."

**[A cabin near the park]**

House had Cuddy gently up against the wall, kissing her languidly. Cuddy responded to his kisses, angling her head and tasting him with her tongue as he tasted her with his. He was kissing her like he was tasting her for the first time, not with his usual bruising strength, but soft kisses laced with little slips of the tongue that made her feel lightheaded and cherished.

He brought his lips to her neck as Cuddy closed her eyes and tilted her head back against the wall and sighed. House brought his lips back to hers and palmed her left breast in his hand, while he ran his fingers through her dark hair with his other hand. Cuddy slipped her tongue into his mouth and kissed him more deeply.

"I want you," House said, pulling away and kissing her temple, her cheeks, everywhere on her face. "Do you want me?"

Cuddy threw her arms around his neck and drew him closer to her, kissing him hard instead of answering him.

House came up for air after a while and nuzzled her, his nose moving gently against hers as his mouth hovered above hers. "Do you want me, Cuddy?" he breathed again.

Cuddy closed the distance between them and pressed her lips against his.

"I want you," she whispered against his lips. "I want you," she repeated, biting his lips gently.

House kissed her full on the mouth as he drew her arms from around his neck and placed them gently above her head, against the wall behind her. He kept them there with one hand while he placed the other on the small of her back, tugging her toward him so that her mid section and groin rested tight against his pelvis. He continued to kiss her as he ground gently into her, knowing that Cuddy could feel his growing erection. Cuddy whimpered slightly as she began to grind back into his pelvis. House licked her lips once before letting Cuddy go suddenly, looking into her eyes as he undid the belt and zipper on his jeans, pushing his pants and boxers down and away from him. He kicked away the clothes from his feet. He kissed Cuddy again as he backed her up firmly against the wall, encouraging her to spread her legs as he brought his hands under her dress and placed them on either side of her hips, right at her pantyline. He started to kiss her neck as he tore open her panties, him knowing that the thin material would rip easily, her not caring in her haze that House had ruined another set of underwear. House dipped his fingers right into her folds as he kissed her, getting harder as he felt her wet and tight against him. He moved his hands away from her folds and placed them behind, on her bottom. He bent his knees and lifted her off the ground, positioning her against the wall so that the head of his erection rested against her entrance. He shoved upwards into her, hard. Cuddy's breath hitched, and then she moaned softly.

Afterwards, when it was over, House's sweaty forehead rested against Cuddy's collarbone. He was still inside her, as they both stayed in position for a while, feeling the throbbing between them subside gradually. House took some deep breaths and then carefully pulled out of her, bringing her feet back onto the ground.

"Are you okay?" he asked, touching the back of her head.

"I think the question is, are _you_ okay," Cuddy said, smiling, but they both knew what she wasn't adding onto the question.

House never discussed how much Vicodin he was exactly taking with her, and she never pressed him about how much we was taking ever since they had started this after their breakup. Whatever _this_ was. House figured, as long as it doesn't interfere with their sex life, why bother talking about it.

He knew, though, that it bothered Cuddy. He could see it in the lingering way she sometimes gazed at the slight bulge in his jacket pocket, as if she were trying to x-ray how many pills he had left, how many he had taken without her knowing. He wouldn't admit it to her, but he sometimes wondered why she let him keep getting prescriptions for Vicodin. She had shut down all prescriptions for him at PPTH, but she could have easily notified pharmacies around the city to prevent him from getting his hands on it elsewhere, too. He wondered, but he never asked. If she wasn't going to ask or stop him, he wasn't going to answer or stop.

"Oh, I think I'm good," House said, arching an eyebrow. "In fact, I'd say I was pretty damn near awesome judging from all the moaning and gasping that I just heard."

"Shut up," Cuddy said, laughing as she helped him dress and then smoothed her dress back into place on her body. She eyed him quietly.

"We have to pack."

House nodded. "I know." He ran a hand down her back before walking towards the bedroom for his suitcase. Cuddy watched his limping gait as he walked away.


	3. Chapter 3

_**[Outside House's apartment. It's raining.]**_

"Did you fuck her?" Cuddy asks in the rain, water dripping from her curls. House has followed Cuddy outside of his apartment, barefoot. His hair is plastered on his scalp, and the rain is making his beard scraggly. He looks haggard.

"_You _broke it off with _me," _House says. He looks tired, but his eyes blaze with anger. His right hand curls into a fist.

Cuddy studies his face for a moment, her anger seething through the slant of her eyes, the tight set to her mouth.

"Was it good?" Cuddy asks, not blinking.

House swallows once, his eyes moving to the left for a second. He focuses his gaze back on Cuddy.

"What the fuck, Cuddy. You say that we're over. You stop having sex with me, and now you're pissed that you ran into some consolation?" House's eyes glitter with something dangerously close to hatred.

Cuddy breathes through her nose twice and she looks ready to slap him across the face. But she closes her eyes for a split second, head slightly bowed. Then, she looks up at him, the walls back up and her steely resolve evident in the whole slant of her body.

"You're right, House. I have no right to be angry. I'm leaving." Cuddy starts to walk away.

House, looking exasperated, yells to her retreating figure, "You didn't even bring your car here! How the hell are you going to get home?"

Cuddy keeps walking.

House, looking as if he's debating something against his better judgment, finally shakes his head as if he's disgusted with himself and starts to walk awkwardly towards Cuddy as fast as he can.

"You can't…" he says, but then suddenly lets out a sharp gasp and falls down on the street. He didn't realize the side mirror of the car was nearly level with his bad leg, and he crashed into it, unknowingly, in his haste. He grips his leg in pain and grimaces, rocking back and forth on the ground.

Cuddy turns around on instinct and is suddenly beside him in an instant. "House!" she says, putting a hand on his leg.

"Get the fuck away from me," House says through gritted teeth.

"House…"

"I said, get the fuck away!" House says, squinting and clutching at his leg.

Cuddy looks at him for a moment and then starts to cry silently. The tears are hardly visible with the rain streaming down her face.

House turns his head away for a while, then stops clutching his leg and stretches it out on the ground. He leans back so that his head and upper back rest against the side of the car. He looks straight ahead, and he can see Cuddy in the corner of his eye. He sees her reach out her hand to his face.

He doesn't turn his head towards her, but he doesn't stop her, either. Cuddy touches his cheek, still crying silently. The rain is still beating down on them, both of them looking ridiculous and ugly out on the street. It's a wonder that nobody else has come down the street yet. House closes his eyes, tilting his head back against the car, and he feels Cuddy bring her other hand to his other cheek. Cuddy now holds his face between her hands.

Then, suddenly, Cuddy is straddling him, and she's hugging his head against her chest. House still won't open his eyes. He doesn't push her away, but he doesn't do anything, either. He just feels her chest heave with her silent tears. In a short moment, he feels the press of her lips on the top of his head, once, twice. He squeezes his eyes shut tighter. He brings his arms around Cuddy's waist and squeezes her against him, not caring what they look like to anyone right now.

"I hate you," Cuddy says, into his hair. House squeezes his arms around her. "I know," he says.

Cuddy brings her head down to kiss his ear. "I love you," she says softly, her voice nearly drowned out by the rain. House squeezes his arms around her again, holding her tight against him. "I know," he says.


	4. Chapter 4

**[House's Bedroom]**

House is tasting the hollow in Cuddy's throat as his right hand gently explores her left breast. Cuddy's knees are planted on either side of House's legs, and she is anchored close to House by his left arm securely holding her in place. Cuddy's eyes are closed, and her heavy breathing matches the shallow exhale of air heard coming rhythmically from House's mouth. Cuddy dips her head to kiss House on the mouth, and he meets her, bringing both hands up to enfold the back of her head. They kiss, eyes closed, tongues voluptuous against each other.

House pulls away slightly. "Cuddy," he says, nipping at her bottom lip.

"Hmm?" Cuddy says, nipping at his upper lip.

House kisses her again before saying in between short kisses, "I'm not doing this if you're going to freak out."

Cuddy brings her head down rest next to House's left ear, bringing her arms around his shoulders so that she's hugging him. She kisses his earlobe and then murmurs, "Shut up, House."

Cuddy starts kissing and caressing House's chest and shoulders. House shuts his eyes, breathing accelerating for a moment before he flips Cuddy down unto the bed. He hovers over her, pinning her arms on either side of her head gently. His eyes are a gentler blue in the grayish light cast by the rain, but they are somehow more transparent. House's gaze runs over Cuddy's face.

"Seriously. I'm not doing this if you tell me how this was a huge mistake and it will never happen again." Words Cuddy spoke every time they made love in the past month or so.

Cuddy looks up at House, slightly breathless but calm, and she raises her head to trace a soft line from the base of House's throat to his chin with her tongue. She kisses his lips. "I love you," she says. She frees her arms from House's grasp and cups his face in her hands. She kisses him again. "I love you," she repeats.

House exhales through his nose but says nothing. He kisses her back, cradling her against him closer.

/

Afterwards, House holds Cuddy against him, stroking her back. Cuddy is placing kisses on his collarbone and rubbing her fingers softly against his chest. A few minutes pass before Cuddy cuddles up against House so that there's no room in between them. House easily cradles her body. He looks down at her and says, almost expressionlessly, "Are you staying here tonight?"

Cuddy meets his eyes for a second before burrowing her head back down into his shoulder. She blinks once, and House feels her eyelashes fluttering against his skin. "Yes," she murmurs, her breath warm against him. House lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding in, and, he squeezes his arms around her once. He lets himself close his eyes. He drifts off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Cuddy's living room**

House is watching a movie with Cuddy in her living room. Cuddy is nestled into his side, shifting slightly once in a while. House has his arm around her, his hand resting on her hipbone. His fingers tap lightly once in a while to the beat of the movie's background music. Rachel is playing with colorful blocks on the floor near their feet, already in her pajamas. The light flickering from the television screen bounces off her brown hair and pale skin. Rachel seems oblivious to the movie, concentrating on the blocks in front of her, but she hums along to the movie's background music once in a while.

House stops tapping his fingers against Cuddy's hipbone and focuses his gaze on Rachel for a moment.

"The kid can carry a tune," he says, looking down at Cuddy.

Cuddy looks up at him, their faces close, her eyebrow arched. The lines of her forehead grow prominent.

"Is that a compliment?" Cuddy asks, the corner of her lip slightly upturned.

House shrugs. "Just an observation," he says, focusing his gaze back on to the television screen.

Cuddy rests her head back on House's shoulder and brings her hand up to rest against the center of his chest. She rubs his chest lightly and laughs lightly.

"You big softie," she says, teasing, and brings her hand down from his chest to poke her index finger against his stomach.

House flinches in mock surprise and says, sucking in his stomach, "_What_, woman. I'm not growing soft. Even if I were—which I'm _not_—it's all your fault because you keep feeding me three course dinners out of the guilt you feel for punishing me for my many sins."

Cuddy punches his stomach lightly and then rests her head against it, closing her eyes. She seems to ignore what he just said and instead says, "I'm so tired." House rubs her back while continuing to watch the screen.

Rachel, who has finished stacking up her blocks in a tall vertical line, looks up at House and says, raising her arms, "Finished!" House turns his head towards her and jiggles Cuddy, signaling for her to get up. Cuddy groans so softly that only House can hear her, and she gets up, prying herself away from House to walk the few steps towards Rachel. "Let's go, honey," she says, taking Rachel's hand, encouraging her daughter to stand up. Rachel stands, holding her mother's hand, and they start walking down the hallway to Rachel's bedroom. Rachel turns her head in the hallway and says, "Night, House." House, still looking at the television screen, says, "Night, squirt."

House's gaze falls on the vertical line of blocks in the living room. A flicker of recognition crosses his face as he registers that the blocks are the ones he bought for her.

Cuddy walks back into the living room and stands behind the sofa, directly behind House. She brings her arms around him and brings her face down to kiss his right cheek. "Let's turn in for the night," she says, her arms still around him. House shifts his head so that his lips find hers again, and he kisses her softly until their kissing turns too intense to be comfortable in the position that they're in. Cuddy pulls away and runs her fingers through the stubble on his cheek. "You need a shave. Or a trim," she says. "You're kind of hurting me," she says, as she carefully kisses his lips so that she has minimal contact with the beard on his face.

House, looking into her eyes, quips, "Geez, Cuddy. First you say that I'm getting fat, and now you say my man-beard is getting out of control. If you keep nagging me, you just might not be getting any for the next few days."

Cuddy, meeting his gaze, says, shrugging, "Suit yourself," and starts walking away from the sofa.

House, catching her wrist as she walks away, pulls her back towards the sofa. His thumb rubs against her pulse point. "I'll make you a deal," he says. "A trim for…" his eyes travel over her body, zooming in on her chest. "For a bath."

"What?" Cuddy says, rolling her eyes. "You want me to bathe you? Forget it."

House scoffs. "No, woman. A bath as in a bath where we do naughty things together and end up scrubbing each other extra clean afterwards."

Cuddy smiles, biting down on her lip. "Well, I guess a bath would be relaxing," she says.

House is already up from the couch, tugging Cuddy towards the hallway, towards the bathroom. As Cuddy falls into step with him, she says, looking up at him, frowning slightly, "Do you think too much of what happens in our relationship is based on what happens in the bathroom?"

As soon as she says the words, she realizes that they carry a weight that she hadn't realized, that she hadn't intended.

She's about to make a joke to offset the awkwardness she fears will set in within a millisecond, but House just shrugs, continuing to walk with her down the hallway. "Piss, shit, love, sex, and all the equipment to make us nice and clean again," he says, grabbing her ass all of a sudden. Cuddy jumps slightly and appears slightly exasperated, but she just pries his fingers away from her butt and squeezes his fingers between hers.

"You're an idiot," she says, her voice tinged with exasperation, annoyance, and a hint of laughter.

"Oh, just wait till you see what this idiot has in store for _you_," House says, his voice turning that tone of playful gleefulness he gets when he's been scheming something. "What are you up to?" Cuddy says suspiciously. "Nothing," House says immediately, lightly pushing against the small of her back as they reach the bathroom door.


	6. Chapter 6

**_[House's bedroom]_**

Cuddy is naked, and she is resting her hands on the windowsill in front of the shuttered window. She is trying to calm her heartbeat, and her breathing is heavy but rhythmical. Her eyes shut from time to time, and air escapes out of her lips audibly.

The fight was bad.

Filled with screaming and accusations. They were about to have sex when the easy banter between them turned first into biting comments, then into disbelief at what was being said, and finally into straight out yelling at each other to get the fuck out. In the end, House pulled on his boxers and walked out of the room.

It's been fifteen minutes, and Cuddy is getting cold. She shakes her head slightly and turns around to pull on a shirt when she is immediately met with House's chest. She looks up at him in surprise and sees his face. Still angry, still with the set to his jaw that she recognizes so well, and still slightly flushed from their fight. He must have been muttering and brooding in the living room, she thinks.

House lets out air through his nose, his head bent to the floor. Then, he takes in a breath and brings his right hand up to rest on Cuddy's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he says.

Cuddy shakes her head and looks up at him. "You don't mean that," she says.

House sighs, and she senses his anger rising again. "Well, what do you want me to do about it? Do you want me to be better at pretending that I'm sorry when I'm actually still pissed at you?" he says.

"No," Cuddy says automatically.

"Then what do you want?" House replies immediately, not giving an inch.

"I want," Cuddy responds quickly, but then stops herself. After a few seconds of silence, she brings her left hand up to House's cheek. The gesture is done so slowly and tentatively that House involuntarily rubs his cheek into the palm of her hand, as if he were anticipating the feel of her hand much sooner. Cuddy rubs her thumb across his stubble and says, "I want…", but then trails off.

She tilts her head to look into his eyes with an openness that he has never seen before and says softly, "I want you to not hurt me."

House shuts his eyes for a brief second but then opens them and looks straight into her eyes. "You know I can't promise you that," he says, his cheek still in the palm of Cuddy's hand.

"Try," Cuddy says, looking into his eyes with an intensity that House wants to both avoid and to kiss away.

House drops his eyes to the floor and says with surprising clarity, "I always try."

Cuddy bring her other hand up to run her fingers through his hair and says, "Try harder."

House and Cuddy's faces are close together now, and they stare at each other in silence for a few moments. Then, House lowers his lips to Cuddy's and kisses her, once. He pulls back to look into her eyes. Cuddy slowly leans her body into his and kisses him softly but fully on the lips. House responds by tilting his head at an angle to kiss her deeply, and he brings his arms around her torso to fasten her upper body to his.

"Tell me you love me," Cuddy says as she breaks the kiss, her lips centimeters from his.

Usually, when Cuddy would say this during their lovemaking sessions, House would increase the intensity of whatever they were doing so that his actions became both an avoidance and an affirmation. House moves in again this time to kiss her demand away.

"No," she says, pulling her lips back from his. She feels House's lips move instead to the side of her neck, where his grazing is making her arch her spine.

"No," she says again, bringing House's face back up to hers. She bites his lower lip gently but hard enough so that he can feel it and murmurs, "Say it." She bites him again. House tries again to move in again on a kiss that will end all conversation between them until the sex is over.

She places a hand on his chest to stop him, pushing him away a little. She looks at him defiantly, but her expression is tinged with something close to sadness as well. "Tell me you love me," she says. And she says it like she's pleading with him—something unrecognizable and terrifying to both of them.

He looks at her face for a long moment, feeling her hand on his chest.

He brings his hand up to cup the soft skin of her breast so gently that Cuddy gasps at the sensation. He moves his face tentatively and slowly towards Cuddy's face. He moves his lips like a whisper over the corner of her right mouth, along her cheekbone, and to her temple. He breathes in the smell of her hair as his thumb ghosts against her nipple , and Cuddy has to fight to breathe. She closes her eyes.

She feels House graze his lips down the side of her face and feels his lips touch so softly against hers that she wonders if she's imagining the pressure there. She opens her eyes and finds House's eyes open as well, staring into hers as he's pressing his lips against her. He breaks away gently and traps the skin under her right jaw between his teeth for a split second. He lets go of her skin and moves back over her lips so that she can feel every movement of his mouth. "I love you, Lisa," he says against her lips, and Cuddy squeezes her eyes shut as she presses her fingertips into his hair. She hugs House's head to the side of her cheek. House presses his lips against her cheekbone and says in a wavering rumble, "I love you, Cuddy."

Cuddy squeezes her arms around House tightly and brings her head down to rest against his chest. She is warm now from House's body heat. She feels House bring his chin to rest in the crook of her neck, and she feels the prickle of his beard against her skin. House's arms now rest lower on her body, enfolding her right above the hipbone. Silence falls over them like a blanket.


	7. Chapter 7

__NOTE: Hello, readers! I'm sorry that I haven't updated recently. Life has been and continues to be a series of deadlines.

The tone of this new chapter may feel different from previous chapters because I thought that a change of tone could be used effectively to indicate how the "moods" in relationships shift along with the passage of time.

Just in case you haven't noticed, one of this fic's central themes is the physical nature of House and Cuddy's relationship. I have always thought that there was an almost innate, basic recognition of each other's presence and bodies between House and Cuddy. There are so many things that this "recognition" can mean. While it is impossible to have insight into all potential meanings, it sure is fun to provide snapshots of the insights that come to me in flashes of inspiration :)

_**Some months later...**_

Sometimes, when she was feeling slightly depressed or too stressed out, she would just ask for sex. These situations were somehow different than when she initiated sex in a lighter mood.

Turning her head, she'd put a hand on his shoulder, lean over, and just barely bite his earlobe or lick him just below the right corner of his jaw. House, with clinical precision, would weigh just how serious she was with going through it at the moment—his eyes quickly darting over every inch of her to assess her body language. If he thought she was serious enough, he would usually make her straddle him and then kiss her as he thought of the position or positions he would try out that day.

It bothered Cuddy from time to time that he did this, because she was not sure how she felt about his methodical assessment: his mental tally of what positions they'd had sex in when she was depressed or stressed out. She knew that when he initiated sex, he worked more on impulse and how crazy she was driving him at the time. When she initiated sex in a lighter mood, it was an unexpectedly playful experience for both of them. When she asked for sex because she was depressed or stressed out, Cuddy wondered if House was more methodical because he felt like he needed to fill in a category that was elusive to him. She wondered if, because he was afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing in one of her moods, he instead tried to read how he could make her feel better by the way her body reacted when he touched her here, there, and here again. In any case, House made sure that Cuddy walked away satisfied every time, and Cuddy's slight irritation that would arise from time to time was erased by the time they were moving in rhythm with each other.

* * *

><p>This was one of those times when Cuddy asked for sex because she was feeling slightly down.<p>

He had her on her knees, and he was thrusting roughly into her from behind while his right hand spanned diagonally across her torso, his fingers touching her left hip. They were both slightly grimacing from the pressure of their bodies colliding, and Cuddy felt the slightest pain in her lower stomach which she recognized almost subconsciously as the onset of discomfort she'd feel sometimes after a particular rough round of sex.

It didn't bother her, though, because it usually went away. Cuddy moaned as House a sweet spot deep inside her and she arched her back as she felt a light sheen of sweat develop across her throat. She suddenly felt House pull back a little and then she felt him pull out of her altogether. Her core still throbbing, she felt House flip her over roughly and push her into the bed, her spine meeting the mattress. He took her left leg and lifted it, pushing back into her sharply. Cuddy's spine arched off the bed, and she matched House's rhythm as he pushed deeper and deeper into her. As he brushed his lips against the lower countours of his jaw, he lifted her leg higher and placed it over his shoulder. Still thrusting hard, he slipped a hand between her spine and the mattress, then pulled her pelvis into him every time he thrust. The new sensation made Cuddy whimper slightly and she sank her teeth lightly into one shoulder to keep herself from moaning out loudly. She then felt House place both his hands right under her bottom, and she felt him lift her pelvis that way towards him every time he lunged into her. Cuddy gave up trying to hold back her moans and cried out, feeling her core tighten against the painful pleasure. She grimaced against the feeling of her core constricting so tightly around him that she felt the slight pressure building again in her lower abdomen. She cried out every time he pounded into her until her muscles contracted so tightly that it was nearly painful for both of them. At her peak, her throat constricted and then released so that she released a series of moans that drifted into each other. House, grimacing himself, came at the feeling of her tight grip, and, he emptied himself inside her with each tight spasm.

When it was over, Cuddy's core was still wrapped tightly around him, and House, not able to stand the sensitivity, went to pull out. Cuddy, however, whimpered a little as she felt him shift, and she put a hand on his back to keep him in place as she panted and a drop of perspiration rolled down the side of her face. "Lise…" House said, calling her something he rarely called her as he panted as well. "I…I gotta pull out," he said.

Cuddy, closing her eyes, said, "Wait. Just wait a second," as she brought a hand up to hold on lightly to his shoulder.

House, breathing hard, brought his head down next to her ear and waited for a few seconds. He was still breathing hard. "Cuddy…" he said.

"Okay," Cuddy said and nodded, her eyes still closed. House took a deep breath and slowly and carefully pulled out of her. Cuddy whimpered a little at the action rolled to her side, touching her lower abdomen. Her eyes were closed, and she curled into a fetal position.

House, all of a sudden wide-eyed, placed a hand on her arm. "Shit. Lise. What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" She heard him breathe through his nose. "Dammit," she heard him mutter.

Cuddy, her eyes still closed, reached back to pull at his arm and tugged at him until he was spooning up against her. "No, no" she said. "I'm fine. I just need a second," she said.

And it was true. She just needed a few moments. He didn't hurt her. Well, if he did, it was in a way that she had asked for and craved—and she knew that she felt intense pressure in her lower abdomen sometimes after sex. It wasn't an errant occurance. She could feel House swallow behind her, tense and not knowing what to say. She reached an arm back and cradled his head. "I just feel this way sometimes after sex. I…uh…feel some pressure in my lower stomach for a while, but then it goes away."

House was silent for a while and then said, "Have you ever had it checked out?"

"Yeah," Cuddy said. "I asked my gyncologist, and she said it was nothing to worry about, to just relax and let it calm down. She said it was my body reacting to umm…. I think she said something about intense spasms."

She felt House press his fingers gently against her stomach and felt his voice vibrate against her as he asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Cuddy laughed slightly and said, "That's not exactly the type of information I want to share with my boyfriend, especially when I want to keep having hot sex with him. I'm a big girl, House. I know my limits, and I don't want to have sex with you while you're diagnosing every move you make to weigh whether this or that will be okay. I like our sex life. It's…exciting and one area of my life where I can be adventurous. Trust me," she said, patting his hand teasingly, "if you hurt me, you will _know_. I'll make it _very _clear. Okay?" she finished.

As the last words fell from Cuddy's mouth, she thought how funny it was that, while she was the one in physical discomfort, she was the one consoling House. She sighed. She didn't' know how she felt about that.

After a long moment of silence, she heard House say against her shoulder, "Okay." He brought hands to her stomach and then nuzzled his nose against her ear. He kissed her cheek lightly. "I'll just make sure there's lot of foreplay to warm you up so that there are no adverse reactions to umm… 'intense spasms.'"

Cuddy smiled with her lips and twisted her head around to kiss him quickly. "You got it Mister," she said, as she settled back into her original position.

The lay quietly for a while until she felt House's hand cradle one of her breasts gently.

"House… what are you doing?" she said.

"See," he said, playfully, "the thing is, I gotta start warming you up now."

Cuddy laughed silently in spite of herself, and she stilled his fingers in their gentle probing. She did let him rest his hand there, though, and as she burrowed further into the cocoon he created behind her, she said, "Good night, House," and closed her eyes.


End file.
